Riot in my head

Penance

2012-01-24T17:55:00.001+05:30

With what ease you let the silence dwell.
With what patience you spend the night.
Not meeting eye to eye holds no guilt and the absence of words holds no urgency.
It was your punishment. I was the inflictor.
It was, after all, your fault. I was, after all, wronged.
I didn’t realize then, but punishing you is futile.
Your punishment leaves a burn on my soul.
It makes me want to gather you in my arms. That is my only healer.
So I pick you up, dust you and take you on my shoulder.

My tear’s your healer. My tear’s your forgiveness.
The inflictor, the inflicted and the guilty are one.

The maddening thought

2012-01-23T11:59:00.003+05:30

Envy the hold you have on me.
Perplexed, why I don't own you the same.
Beyond the merry.
Beyond the smiles.
Beyond the show of a perfect life, I worry.
Will he choose another, is not what will slit and ache.
Will she have that enviable hold on him? What if she does

I'm afraid she does.
And that stings.

Own

2011-07-09T20:47:00.003+05:30

The courses of true love never did run smooth

Those deep brown eyes,
like the colour of a damp tree bark.

That innocent, moving smile,
like that of a playing child.

Those locks, velvet smooth
and those arms powerful.

None of them I'd love to own.

I'd love to own that heart.
Iron tough.
Stone cold.
Indifferent.
Torn.

When I turn hollow I will fill you up

2011-05-02T22:21:00.003+05:30

I've reached the end right now,
This is all i have to put at your feet.
All I could offer I did.
Drained my soul.
Skinned myself.
Turned myself inside out.
But it isn't enough, Is it?

I shall snatch from another and bring it to you.

When I've given all and I'm empty I shall steal for you.

When I turn hollow I will fill you up.

I will give you not only what's mine but what you deserve.

I will bleed myself for you.

and I'm not afraid to kill.

I die each day to keep you alive in me,
to keep you with me.

Yes, I will do what's forbidden.

Lose it!

2011-04-18T17:54:00.001+05:30

Shoe-off

My Childhood

2011-04-16T17:08:00.001+05:30

Madonna and me when we were younger :)

We are family!

2011-04-15T12:49:00.001+05:30

This has got to be the picture of the year….truly awesome!

This is the Columbus , Ohio family that just had the sixtuplets, this picture is priceless!

See the full gallery on Posterous

Together Forever

2011-04-13T16:08:00.001+05:30

Stand By me <3

See the full gallery on Posterous

Untitled

2011-04-13T13:01:00.001+05:30

India - Winners of 2011 CWC

New turn

2011-04-05T00:39:00.000+05:30

Look at what you've done.

I think I love you,

And I'd like to think you love me too.

Too far I've come,

I've left the old skin to put on a new.

I'm ready for the future and all it holds,

As long as we live as two bodies one souls.

I'm ready for unbearable laughter

and tears of ache.

Because I changed for you,

expecting you to remain the same.

My beloved one

2011-03-11T18:18:00.001+05:30

I will be looking over you soon from heaven

Oh beloved one,

Will you hold my trembling hand?

Will you be there when shadows cloud my soul?

Oh beloved one,

Will you bring back hope?

Will you brighten my day with your smile?

Oh beloved one, will you?

Will you be there when living seems so hard?

Will you be there when I stumble and fall?

Will you be there when I slip away the facade of my strength?

And when I tear off the mask I’ve been wearing so long.

Oh beloved one.

Will you be there to tell me you love me when I know my time has come?

I have but a month.

Will you be with me and make this month everything I ever wanted my life to be?

Will you, my beloved one, will you be there to kiss me Goodbye?

As I close my eyes with my head on you shoulder and your hand in mine?

Be there my beloved one, for I will be looking over you soon from heaven.

I’ll be there for you my beloved one. Always and forever.

Power of his gaze. The strength of his smile.

2010-12-29T18:18:00.001+05:30

Amidst the turmoil stands my refuge so still.

Calm as the night sky, a motionless sculpture,

The drops of his bravery trickle down his forehead

Gleaming as the sun admirably smiles over him.

And his lips curl into that bright smile which I hold so dear.

Those encouraging gaze, instils in me the strength to swallow my pain and fright.

It frees me of mortal confinements.

I run to the edge.

I plant my feet there, like I did a thousand times before.

Not this time.

I jump off the cliff.

I smell freedom in the air.

I sense freedom in my bones.

I scream freedom through my soul.

I’m aware I shall be one with the earth any moment now.

But I no longer breed fear in my heart.

Nothing I dread now.

For I’m certain he will be waiting for me below to catch me as I fall.

Gently embrace me into those powerful arms.

I shall kiss his forehead.

As the drops of his bravery trickle down his forehead

Gleaming as the sun admirably smiles over him.

And his lips curl into that bright smile which I hold so dear.

He smiles at me.

Chaos

2010-11-02T12:28:00.002+05:30

My soul, what unrest it shelters.

Sinking deeper into a chaotic mess

Of memories

Words and

Stabs

I roll over, like

Turning a page of a scary chapter

But I’m back where I first began reading.

It’s happening over and over again.

It’s swallowing me deeper and deeper

into its core.

Its grip getting tighter and tighter

as time passes by.

And I fade slowly but surely into the unknown.

You won’t understand

because you can’t see it with your eyes.

You won’t understand

because it knows you don’t have the strength to endure.

You’re just happy looking through

The chaos

The pain

The struggle

You’re just happy looking through

Me.

Aren’t you?

Mine

2010-10-04T17:41:00.006+05:30

Touch the Starry violet sky,

Kiss the Blue Horizon,

On the moon lit ocean I lie,

Draw a picture on the sand,

Draw your picture on the sand.

Sitting by the sea,

Serenity my companion,

I write your name on the shore.

Erase it

To only write your name with mine.

Chinta-Mani (A "Raavan" review)

2010-07-22T21:33:00.003+05:30

Our first assignment for TYBMM was to review any current movie, of our choice. The class unanimously settled for "Raavan" over "Robin Hood". The movie turned out to be a great class trip, thanks to our professor. This is what i think of the movie.

Chinta-Mani

Beera (Abhishekh Bachchan) is a local hero, but a little unlike for the cops of “lal Mathi”. He may take on the persona of Robin Hood for the tribal people around, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he is, but a criminal. This time around he has the police force in search of him, for kidnapping Raghini (Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) the beautiful wife of SP Dev Pratap Sharma (Vikram), Who believes he’s destined to capture Beera and put an end to the out-law.

The movie begins with, Raavan-esque Beera, standing atop a cliff prepared to jump into a ravine. He plunges into the river and the scene changes to that of a huge boat with Beera onboard, crashing into Raghini’s canoe, bearing reference to the seetaharan episode of the epic Ramayana, (abduction of seeta by Raavan).And just when you begin to think you’re in for a roller coaster ride, you’re welcomed by a certain hollowness; that is the first half of the movie. The cat and mouse chase goes on for what seems like eternity, giving the viewers an illusion of a film.

The second half of the movie, in comparison to the first, carries the story further, and keeps the audience seated. The scenic beauty of the set and the picturesque view of the locations, have you mesmerized. Thanks to our saviours, Santosh Sivan and Samir Chanda. They captured every minute detail and brought it forth with such vigor you cease to notice the frail plot of the movie. One can say, the cinematography was the strength of the movie and the plot or the absence of it was its weakness.

There is always something fascinating about villains, which is why Beera’s Character comes across as seductive and peculiar. Abhishekh Bachchan however, didn’t play out his full potential. Mrs Bachchan on the other hand, didn’t surprise me; she stood upto the little that was asked of her. Looking pretty. Govinda’s role of Hanuman isn’t glorious. Priyamani performs brilliantly as Beera’s stepsister. Ravi kissen’s role is limited and his potential hasn’t been developed upon. Rahman’s “Beera” played during the opening credits stays with you, but most of his other compositions fail to make a mark. Gulzahar Sahaab’s lyrics seem reasonable with regards to his other great works.

Raavan is a good watch, for those who love to venerate and admire the beauty called – India. And that’s that.

Adios.

2010-04-14T15:53:00.000+05:30

A poem i wrote 5years ago, long long time back. found it among the old, dusty folders.
About it? - Its simple.

Emptiness is what I feel,
A hollow heart to show.
I'm running still away from you,
Somewhere I believed, I would never go.

You reckon I love you,
And you said you always did,
Then why today am I alone?

I waited for you as long as I could,
I waited till my heart was torn.

Bled,
Grieved.
Sorrowed.
Mourned.

But i fathom today,
That with a smile, I'll have to let go Afterall
If it wasn't for you,
i wouldn't find the strong woman,
inside the girl.

I am strong enough to say goodbye,
with a never fading smile.

For this I know you'll miss me,
If not always,
but someday, even Just for a while.

Prodigal Daughter.

2010-03-21T22:11:00.001+05:30

Most of us don't really like Hindi lectures is school or college, Id say I'm an exception. Because the Hindi kavita's that I've grownup reading, were almost always an inspiration.
Be it Kabir vani, or Meera's poems about Lord Krishna, Or Saint Surdas talking about the Alighty.
Always creating melody from the deepest corners of their hearts. I sure am nothing as compared to those great poets, but this piece is like a Thank you to them, for teaching me so much, about life, love, and The Almighty, its called "Prodigal daughter".
The prodigal son was taken back by his father into the family.
He rose back from the dead, the father would say.
The question however is, Will a daughter ever be taken back?
Will the stains that, cloud her soul ever be forgotten?

प्रोडिगल डॉटर|

निकल घर से में चली, मोह-माया की ओर,

खींचती मुझको जैसे बंधी कोइ डोर |

जिस तरह चाँद खींचता हे समुन्दर की लहरों को,

उसी तरह बंधी हूँ, मोह -माया से में भी यु |

छोड़ आई अपने कुल का नाम,

उस अनजान मार्ग पर,

जो चल पड़ी थी में,

सारी लज्जा त्याग कर |

क्या आ सकुंगी वापिस ?

कया अपना लोगे आप ?

जो दाग लगा हे मुजपर |

क्या भूल पाओगे आप ?

नहीं!

दिलदार नहीं हे दुनिया ,

नाही उसमे प्यार |

ना हूँ में एक बेटा ,

ना किसी के कुल का चिराग |

में तोह हूँ एक बेटी,

भूली भटकी , जो अब वापिस हे लोटी |

क्या मुझको मिल पायेगा ,

एक मोका ?

दूसरी ज़िन्दगी का उपहार?

Take Me Away.

2010-01-04T22:09:00.001+05:30

Come and take me away…
I don’t want to live,
I'm just going to pray,
Don’t want to see another day.
I don’t want to see another day.

Ugly me, ugly you.
The beautifully ugly,
Me and you.
Together we were
Wild,
And together we were calm.
Together we Were…
And now I’m alone…
Now I’m here, not with you.
Now I’m numb.

Come and take me away…
I don’t want to live,
I’m just going to pray,
Don’t want to see another day.
I don’t want to see another day.

The sweetest of your words,
Were mean, and bad.
Were melodious and sad.
Yet their in my heart,
Like the song I love,
I have music for it.
It plays in my head…

Thus I can smile, when my heart aches…
When missing you seems, like a death in itself….
When wanting you seems, like being stabbed in the chest.
When touching you seems, like the sweetest dream.

Thus I can smile when my heart aches,
Yes I can smile,
And wish, you take me away.

Into your world,
where i can dance and sway.

My Only Refuge

2009-11-14T17:46:00.000+05:30

My Haven,

Not the smell of mama's food when all day hungry I've stayed.
Not the refreshing beer on a long exhausting day.

Not the smile that a stranger gives.
Not the streaming tears that provide relief.

My Haven,
The times i wrapped my arms around you, when i was ill.

The kiss on my forehead that you would give.

They are gone with you,
gone to the grave -
the tomb of my only joy.

They are gone with you,
gone to the grave -
the tomb of my only haven.

Apprize!!

2009-09-07T22:50:00.000+05:30

Few words for you,
Few words that are mine,
Yet they belong to you,
You inspire them, you let me believe they are real; let me believe they are mine.

Few moments for you,
A little part of my life,
Yet they belong to you,
You live inside me, you make me cry you make me smile, make me live life.

All I give is just a little of mine, I don’t have too much to share.
All I can give is a little of mine, the little I Only have.

Fewer the words,
And I know you’ll still understand,
Words that our mine,
For you a gift that isn’t expensive isn’t beautiful which doesn’t shine.

Fewer the moments,
So that you could treasure them….

Treasure the Only reason I’m alive.

UnSeen Beauty.

2009-07-21T13:33:00.000+05:30

Well was asked to write a poem in 15mins in class.
I think i was in a romantic mood sort off , so this is the piece i wrote....
its called

UnSeen Beauty.

HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID,
"DONT YOU SENSE, THE LOVE IN THE AIR
THE BIRDS THAT CHANT, GLORIOUS SONGS OF CARE,
THE BEAUTIFUL, ENTRANCING, SOOTHING BREEZE,
THE BEAUTY AROUND, WHICH WILL OUR HEARTS PLEASE"

"DONT YOU SEE? DONT YOU HEAR?
THE GOLDEN SKY, THE GREEN WHICH WHISPERS?"

I WIND MY ARM AROUND HIS NECK,
PULL HIM CLOSE,
WHILE HE LOOKS BACK
SOMETHING TOLD HIM, I FELT WHAT HE FELT.

WRONG!!

I TOLD HIM,
"I KNOW WHAT CAN SET YOU RIGHT,
WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS AND WE SHALL SMOKE THE PIPE.
THEN YOU WILL LOOK AROUND AND SEE,
WHAT'S BEAUTIOUS.....

ITS JUST YOU AND ME"

Simple GoodBye.

2009-06-04T18:33:00.000+05:30

I need you to know….that this wont last.

The times we’ve spent won’t come back.

I’m not here forever you see,

Neither are you or any of this.

What we had is too dear to be forgotten,

In you’re memory it’s engraved.

I won’t be in your future that’s true.

But the past was a future we dreamt.

I’m leaving you here, for you to live on.

Cause I know without me you’ll be strong.

And as I go I promise you.

Whenever you need me,

I’m IN you.

In YOU i find.

2009-03-31T19:13:00.000+05:30

THERE IT IS WHERE LOVE PREVAILS,
IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE HOMES DEPRIVED,
AMONG THOSE SADDEN SMILES,
AND YET HOPE IN THOSE TWINKLING EYES.

THERE IT IS WHERE LOVE PREVAILS,
AMIDST THE PRAYERS OF THOSE WHO HAVE LOST,
LOST THEIR LOVE.THEIR FAMILY , FRIENDS,
AND YET PRAY WITH REVERENCE
BELIEVING IN THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST.

YES THERE IT IS AND NOT IN THE LIVING,
NOT IN THE PLEASURES OF MAN.
IT IS IN THE HEARTS OF ALL WHO CHOOSE,
TO LOVE SELFLESSLY AND NOT EXPECT IN
RETURN.

NO BITTERNESS TO SHOW,
NO REVENGE, NOR HATE,
NOR FEELING OF BEING NOT-LOVED,
ALL THAT THEY HAVE IS THE
STRENGTH OF THE ALMIGHTY
AND THE COURAGE OF A BROKEN HEART.

Those few words, writtten as a child

2009-03-30T06:23:00.000+05:30

SEEMS LIKE TWAS JUST YESTERDAY...
THAT I PLAYED IN YOUR ARMS
AND KISSED YOUR COARSE CHEEKS WITH MY TENDER LIPS.

SEEMS LIKE TWAS JUST YESTERDAY...
THAT YOU TOOK ME ALONG,
TO THE MOST RESPLENDENT PLACES
AND TURNED THE WORST DAYS INTO FUN AND FROLIC.

SEEMS LIKE TWAS JUST YESTERDAY...
YOU SAT UP HOT, SUNNY NOONS
TAKING DELIGHT IN WATCHING ME PLAY.

ALL SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY.....

SEEMS LIKE TWAS JUST YESTERDAY...
THAT I WAS KISSED ON MY FOREHEAD
"GOODNIGHT".

SEEMS LIKE TWAS JUST YESTERDAY...
I JIVED WITH YOU
HOURS ON END.

SEEMS LIKE TWAS JUST YESTERDAY...
BUT ITS BEEN MORE THAN A YEAR
AND IVE COME A LONG WAY,

AND AS I BROOD OVER NOT HAVING YOU AROUND....
I MISS YOU ON MY CRAPPIEST, LOUSIEST DAYS,

WANTING TO BE KISSED.....
" GOODNIGHT" AS I LAY,

SADDENING IT IS WITHOUT YOU TO
DANCE AND SWAY,

MISS YOUR PRESENCE.......
EACH MOMENT
OF EVERY DAY..............

WITHIN!!

2009-03-26T16:51:00.000+05:30

WHAT CROSSES MY MIND,
WHAT STAYS BEHIND,
SEEPS THROUGH,
LIKE THE DEEP OF THE NIGHT.

WHAT CROSSES MY MIND,
WHAT STAYS BEHIND,
IS FOR ME TO CHOOSE....
WHILE THE ANSWER LIES
WITHIN THE COL....

By My Side

2009-03-15T22:50:00.000+05:30

Don't be by my side when i cry,
lest i should break down when your not around.
Don't be by side when I'm weak.
lest i should feel miserable when you aren't close.
Don't be by my side when i am alone,
lest i should feel lonely when you leave.
Don't be by my side when I'm troubled,
lest i should be so timid and not fight back.
Don't be by my side when I'm in pain,
lest i should depend on you to console.
Don't be by my side when I'm angry and mad,
lest i should take it all out on you.

just be by my side when
I'm happy and smiling.
when i feel like to
dance and sing.
that's when i need you the most,
coz joy my heart cant contain.

above all
you don't by my side when
I'm old,sick and ailing
lest you you stop me from leaving and being free.

"Random"........

2009-03-15T17:05:00.000+05:30

There's a riot in my head....
riot of thoughts.....
abstract ideas.....
that do not find their way.
all chaos around even when i lay
calm and still on my bed.
its a rush.....
of emotions deep within me
have to vent it out
those bizarre random words flowing in my head
do i write them?
do i let them be?
do i wait upon them to disappear and vanish ?
and as these questions arise...
i realise I'm even more bewildered,flummoxed than before.